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The Death of Math Efficacy in a Performative Culture

  • Writer: Phonisha Hawkins
    Phonisha Hawkins
  • Aug 5
  • 2 min read

My individual teacher efficacy used to vary directly (math fun šŸ˜‚) based on the leadership I was under. I have had leaders who helped me see how high I could fly, and there have been some who had me questioning my ability to do anything effectively.


Performative leadership can leave you feeling like you are just a box on their list of things to check off. Their loyalty to deadlines and appearances does not include your development or growth of the power you should feel. They are concerned about optics and if you’re not careful, your confidence becomes performative too. You start nodding when you’re unsure. You stop asking questions because you’re afraid it’ll be used against you. You say ā€œgot itā€ when you don’t, because looking ready gets you further than being honest. You become more concerned with looking confident than actually feeling it.


But that is what performative and compliant leadership does.


It makes confidence conditional.


The best days of my sixteen year career in middle school math education were the days where my coach, my principal, my specialist, and my director allowed me to be transparently me. They knew my love for curriculum and teacher support and they nourished it. They understood that I had a hard time being compartmentalized, so they did not make me choose. They knew I would think outside of what was easy for me and go after what was best for teachers and students, even if it meant I had to work through my own issues. They demanded I have a seat at the table. And that was it. My belief in my ability to teach students, lead teams, or work alongside district folk all came because not only did they see Mrs. Hawkins, they let Phonisha do her thing, while I stood on their shoulders to keep me balanced.


Did I make mistakes along the way? Absolutely.


But the difference was the leaders coached me through it to make me better. When I doubted myself, they reminded me of my strengths and still demanded I strive in my weaknesses.


Someone like me, I need to be able to create and think big in the work I do. The presentation has to match the quality of the content, and when I can do both, my confidence soars. A performative culture kills self-efficacy. It rewards appearance, not authenticity. And efficacy cannot survive that.


While you are performing to check a box, I am trying to fill that box with something good.


Next up, Don't Confuse Compliance with Support

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8 Comments

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Christina
Aug 16
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

Your focus driven purpose to highlight a need to shift the dynamics of teaching is feeding my educator’s soul. Lady Hawk keep sharing the public need to read and hear your voice!

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Phonisha Hawkins
Phonisha Hawkins
Aug 17
Replying to

šŸ’œšŸ’œšŸ’œ Thank you! I'm glad it's serving it's purpose.

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Guest
Aug 07
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

I would love to ask that this blog be reshared. It doesn’t just highlight strong leadership—it speaks directly to the heart of what it means to learn, grow, and lead through the complexities of education.

As leaders, we often forget that we are still learning too—still being shaped as creators, educators, and guides for others. This blog captures that truth so powerfully.

My own teacher efficacy used to rise and fall based on the leadership I was under. I’ve experienced both ends—leaders who helped me fly, and those who left me questioning my value. This post gave voice to that reality.

Performative leadership can chip away at our confidence. It teaches us to act ready even when we’re not. But…

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Phonisha Hawkins
Phonisha Hawkins
Aug 07
Replying to

Incredibly uplifting! Thank you. I wasn't sure what this blog site would look like but I knew it had to be grounded in truth. Leaders don't understand how they can lift or completely devour someone's confidence by their leadership style.

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ThatGIRL
Aug 07
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

This is quickly becoming one of my favorite blogs. The honesty is refreshing and I always leave with a call to action. As a leader of a school, I am sitting with this: ā€œTheir loyalty to deadlines and appearances does not include your development or growth of the power you should feel. They are concerned about optics and if you’re not careful, your confidence becomes performative too.ā€


This is a call to admin to prioritize the people we are trusted to serve. This is the difference between people who lead for the title and notoriety and those who lead because we love and believe in the work. šŸ–¤


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Phonisha Hawkins
Phonisha Hawkins
Aug 07
Replying to

I'm finding myself grateful for these experiences I've had because my story, hopefully, connects to someone else, who is also wondering "why am I doing through this?" The answer is to let someone else know they can make it to the other side just like we did. It affirms the purpose of this blog when you share about it's transparency. Thank you! I hope you keep reading! And sharing!

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Guest
Aug 07
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

The best way to support student learning is to support teachers in charge of student learning. Phonisha, this latest piece demonstrates how you intimately understand the value of elevated leadership. No teachers should have to look over their backs. Styles can differ. But values... not so much. The value of honoring teachers who are dialed in and want to deliver is nonnegotiable.

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Phonisha Hawkins
Phonisha Hawkins
Aug 07
Replying to

I think I take a small piece of the best leaders I've had and I understand what about them gave me the support I needed. I approach teachers with that same care. In that we honor the person, I think.

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